Bismilah Ar Rahmaan Ar Raheem

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

When you hear the word discipline what do you think of? Probably being angry at a child, receiving or giving a spanking, or maybe you think of something that is simply rigid? I’d venture to say that like many parents I speak with that your concept of discipline may bring images of something difficult or challenging? Very few people hear the word discipline and have happy or even neutral feelings.

As a parent, it’s very important that we don’t view discipline in a negative narrow sense because we can inadvertently cause our children to turn away from discipline when they need it most. I want you to think of it like this, Islam is full of discipline. As a matter of fact this was one of the things that most intrigued me when I was studying Islam. I saw structure and order which can lead to a fulfilling life where others that study see challenges and rigidity.

Islam is full discipline and we can see it everywhere we turn ...

Helping Children build closeness with the Quran

Sadly many Muslims are disconnected with the Quran and simply have it in our homes as decoration. Sometimes it's only taken off the shelves during the blessed month of Ramadan. Maybe we’re intimidated by it or satisfied with any excuse we make up not to seek guidance from it.

Parents have a special task of working to instill interest in the Quran by their children beyond rote memorization. Most people have heard that "an idle mind is the Devil’s playground" and when we hear a child say “I’m bored” it tends to mean that they are usually not exerting themselves.

"What can I do to help my child connect more with the Quran" is a question we get often at Outstanding Muslim Parents. I hope to give you a few ideas that can help spark interest for your children which leads to them taking the initiative to go deeper bi ithnillah.

The Magnificence of the Quran cannot be adequately explained in a short blog post and I’ve heard many ulema who hav...

For Part 2 click here | For Part 1 click here

A pattern developed of coming home late after school and staying out late with “friends”. Coming home smelling like odd fragrances and showing signs of a romantic relationship were apparent and easy for anyone who has lived that lifestyle to see.

Late one night Abdullah received a phone call or a text from his older brother (from a different mother) who informed him that he was going to be with Abdullah’s girlfriend. Abdullah and his brother had always been at odds because Ismaa’eel chose Aaliyah and became Muslim instead of staying with his mother. This type of disrespectful talk isn’t taken easily amongs young men. It’s bad enough that a man tells another man that I’m going to be intimate (in rated G language) with your woman, but his older brother says this already being fully aware of the relationship Abdullah has with her. It goes without saying that the young woman in this triangle wasn’t modest nor did she have much self-respect.

Identity: noun \ī-ˈden-tə-tē, ə-, -ˈde-nə-\ a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual

When we bear witness that there is NOTHING worth of worship except ALLAH and that Muhammad is His Messenger, we are distinguishing ourselves and professing that we believe in One God with no partners and His final Messenger Muhammad bin Abdullah.

One of the pleasures of life for parents is seeing their children imitate the rituals of worship when their sons say Allahu Akbar and wants to lead the salah or when a daughter is putting the khimar around her head and looking for positive reinforcement. When a baby is just 1 yr old and they are imitating the movements of salah is refreshing for a parent without question.

What Muslim parent doesn't want their children to carry on this deen and develop a love for it? I trust that all parents want the best for their children and want them to be a means to enter Jennah.

We are distinct in our worship and sometimes we don't notice how b...

(For Part 1 click here)

After talking with Ismaa’eel, I noted that his surroundings weren’t what they used to be. He was in a place for over 8 hours a day with non-Muslims and most of his clients were non-Muslims as well. Even though that’s not an issue in general, it can wear you down over time and by missing the congregational prayers and closeness of the local Muslims, his family ended up suffering. Abdullah was growing and he was spending less time with his father in his formative years and unfortunately his family was missing from most Islamic functions at the few maasajid around town.

My oldest daughter is one year younger than Abdullah and we were present at his 8th grade graduation, ma sha Allah. I wasn’t ready for what was next for Abdullah in regards to schooling. Ismaa’eel told me that he had recently begun unschooling his children and that he is going to send his son to a public high school. This concerned me because Abdullah is a popular guy, taller than his father, and ...

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

Allah t'ala blessed me to accept this wonderful deen and I wanted to make sure that my future family would also be grounded enough in it to keep it for generations. My fear was that when I got married and started a family that somehow my children would be weak because I was new to Islam and didn't know the Arabic language or much about Islam period. So alHamdulillah, I did what I could with what I had and studied the language, basic fiqh, and many other topics.

After marrying 19 years old and having my first child, a daughter, I knew that I had a great responsibility, especially living in the United States. I was to make sure my family was anchored with Islam so that they would be equipped to fend off any temptations and weaknesses.

In jahiliyyah, (before I accepted Islam) I was a Christian, went to a private Christian school for 10 years. I lived a fast lifestyle as a youth and detached myself from Christianity as a teenager because something just felt ...

I had been Muslim no more than a few weeks when I remember going into the masjid one weekday and seeing this little baby boy, let’s call him Abdullah, waddle around and exploring by putting everything into his mouth like a 1 year old does. I recall how wonderful it must me to have a child growing up in Islam and I asked Allah to bless me with a son or daughter to raise up in this new deen I just accepted.

My wife and I had become friends with his parents, who we’ll call Ismaa’eel and Aaliyah, and found that we shared a similar background. They were both raised Christian and they both suffered ridicule for accepting Islam. I adored their little son because I saw this as a new beginning for the future for his family and later I found that my wife was pregnant with our soon to be first child.

The masjid we attended conducted classes on Sunday and a few nights during the week and being eager to learn our new deen, we attended a couple of times a week. At the beginning of our journey Isma...

(Part 1 - click here)

Part 2...

So by this time we had waited for a little over 2 hours and the children were getting tired- they ate and read and observed passers by and had enough. Alhamdoulilah we had some more people join us. This was a family of 5 and Alhamdoulilah they had 3 children. (I needed this distraction desperately for my own children). They greeted us with Assalamu Alaikum and I soon learned that they were from Morocco, a Country dear to my heart as my hubby comes from there. Their children were aged 3, 6 and nine- all girls Masha Allah. We began conversing and they asked me if I was learning Arabic. I said that I had actually recently finished an amazing book called Nourania Qaida-it should be done with a teacher but they should not have a problem teaching it. With my very broken Arabic, they of course did not know book that was. I was happy to spell it for them and the husband was happy to look it up on his phone. He said that even though they knew Arabic they wanted...

Everyone we meet, every experience we have is a gift from Allah. A moment in time to learn, a moment to teach, a moment to be grateful. We just need to open our eyes and hearts to these moments and get the most out of them.

As parents we all dread the times when our child gets seriously injured. Not a scrape on the leg, or a bruised knee, but those dreadful open wounds. This is exactly what happened recently to my 5 and a half year old son. One night as we were all just quieting down- getting ready for our bedtime routine, Omar was being his regular full of energy self- he ran into the kitchen and fell down and hit his head on the corner of the wall and voila his cries told me that  this was not an ordinary fall. There was blood….This fall warranted a trip to the hospital where daddy and son stayed the whole night waiting for two stitches. Omar was pretty brave Alhamdoulilah, his only tears were the ones he cried at home…Knowing him… his curiosity about the hospital and fellow patient...

Allah t’ala says in Surah Tahreem 66:6

O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. Quran 66:6

Many times, as Muslims, our priorities are not in the proper order. We strive to take care of our families financially, which is commendable, we strive for higher education, which is commendable, and we strive for knowledge and recreation, which can also be commendable. But is it commendable if it is at the risk of losing your children to the pull of Shaytaan? Would you trade your child for the luxuries of this life? Would you trade your children for status and a degree? I highly doubt parents intend to disempower their children, but many of the problems plaguing our Islamic communities show the same end result.

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end...