By Tunde Brazlik

Being a parent is truly a blessing, but it comes with a great deal of responsibility as well.

When Allah blesses you with that little bundle of joy, you as a parent have so much hope for them. You plan their whole life before they are even born. You pick their schools, their careers, and you are even able to imagine how your grandkids will be running around you while visiting with you. It is beautiful to imagine as they grow older, get wiser and become more responsible.

This dream can be shattered when one has a special needs child. Regardless of the disability, or I would rather say “different ability”, the task is challenging. Not just because the parent needs to pay more attention to the child, help them more physically and emotionally, but now they also have to protect them from society. They have to think about the future of their child when they are no longer there to be able to help and support them.

Being a special need child’s caretaker takes a special per...

(If you missed Part II click here or Part I click here)

Staring out of the window and hearing the continual pleas of his mother to tell her what’s wrong, Zayd finally cracked. Though he was only silent for a few minutes in the car, it seemed like a lifetime. His voice cracked as he told his mother that something bad just happened. He said that he was hanging with his friend Jason, the one she didn’t like, and Jason told him about a situation that was going on with another guy who runs a street gang. Long story short, the leader of the gang was recently robbed and they think they know who did it.

Since Zayd was fascinated by the street life and was not experienced in the game, his friend Jason and the leader of the gang knew he’d be easy to influence because he would want to “prove” himself. Zayd informed his mother that somebody got hurt but he wasn’t the one that did it but he was there and that’s what all of the police were in the area for. His mother was in disbelief and went into...

(If you haven't read Part I, click here)

Part II: I remember reading some troubling statistics in the “Encyclopedia of Violence, Peace, and Conflict, Vol. 2” which reads “in the 1500 hours of television U.S. children watch each year, they see primarily a violent face. The average child will see 8,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school. By the time that same person reaches high school graduation, he or she will have seen 18,000 murders and more than 250,000 acts of violence. The violence is “sanitized” – clean, neat, and tidy with no pain and suffering.”

Unfortunately I can see how those numbers add up. At 7 years old I had already seen the notorious movie Scarface with Al Pacino playing Tony Montana (1983) and who knows how many people he killed in his final scene. Movie classics like The Godfather (1972), Rambo (1982), Terminator (1984), Goodfellas (1990), Casino (1995), and others always showed strength through violence and appeared to show how ...

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

I remember being at an iftaar and seeing this little baby crawling on the floor and biting his toys until he would be sent to his mother to nurse and take a nap. His name was Zayd (changed) and he was the son of an Arab brother I know and his wife who is a white American convert.

As time passed, we enjoyed many more eid gatherings, iftaars that were more crowded because of more babies being born, and lots of family outings in the park where we played sports, talked politics, ate good Arab food, and had fun. 

I was asked parenting questions because my daughters were a tad older than Zayd. Question like what my plan was regarding my daughters education. I informed my brothers that I planned to do things starkly different than how I was raised because I wasn’t raised Muslim and plus I hold a philosophy that schooling is much different than education.  

I didn’t have a plan mapped out, but I knew that I wanted my children to be raised as Muslims who practic...

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

We have been blessed with many different roles as parents and some roles are unique to our personal situation within our family structure and others are ones that we all share as parents be default.

We think that there are three very important roles that parents have by default and we have labeled them;

The CELEBRITY, The CONFIDANT, and The COACH

We think that you as a parent already have an idea of how these may apply to your life and it is our intention to not just elaborate how important these roles are but how to use them effectively at the right times so that your parenting is OUTSTANDING with the help of Allah.

A quick description of the 3 roles are as follows;

The CELEBRITY - We are the Superstars in our young child's life. When they are newborns, we are all they know and our simple presence gives them comfort. We are the only friends that they want even if there are siblings or other relatives. Mom is usually the main superstar in our child's ...

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

“Champions aren’t made in the ring, they are merely recognized there. What you cheat on in the early light of morning will show up in the ring under the bright lights.”

—Joe Frazier

I am a Coach that is developing Champions, given to me for a short time by Allah and I will do what I must to bring out the best in them because the best in them is from the best in me, alhamdulillah.

Many of us have benefited from a coach in one way or the other. Or we have seen great teams that have overcome obstacles to win through it all. There are Olympic games and coaches from all over the world that are able to display to most countries on the planet the results of their training through athletes. Though most of us are not raising Olympic athletes, we are raising something much more signigicant, we are raising believers in Allah.

I jokingly tell parents to be selfish and get good at being selfish! You can imagine the surprise on their faces until I explain that they ...

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

I empower and equip my child with knowledge that they don't understand yet because I am a Confidant.

One who is able and willing to expose the things that may not fit the status quo in hopes to create a deeper understanding in their children is what we consider a Confidant.

We naturally take on the role of the Confidant as we answer the questions by our little ones, especially when they ask us "why?" However this role is not one that stays as passive as simply answering a toddler’s questions. This role is very demanding and requires parents to continue to grow and get wisdom from their life's lessons.

One of the greatest satisfactions of the Confidant is that we get to experience the trust of our children and we see how the information we share with them may affect their thinking and behavior. Once we pull our children into the inner circle, we show them that we care about them, love them, and want them to understand things on a level that many tend to ...

"I'm a Parent and I'm the first and most important CELEBRITY in my child's life"

I know, I know, some people have let us know that just saying the above statement makes them feel uncomfortable. It's okay, let me explain why I say that you are a celebrity and the most important one in your child's life.

First, we must understand that our children are simply a trust from Allah and they are under our care for a short time. We don't own them and we can't control them, not even before they are born. After the Angel blows their soul into their developing body and they begin to kick and move around inside the womb, Allah shows us how much we lack control. There is nothing a mother can do to not feel the pain of that baby moving and growing inside of her and Allah blesses her immensely.

However after this baby is born, it is Allah that has conditioned that baby to be attached to Mom and instinctively be able to eat. Think of how comfortable we are when our ...

Bismilah Ar Rahmaan Ar Raheem

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

(Read Part 1 here)

It’s imperative for parents to understand that the human brain isn’t considered mature until 25 years old according to new neuroscience findings which can explain some of the things our children decide that make absolutely no sense.

Knowing this I use a Six Step System of Corrective Discipline when it comes to my children;

As parents we have 3 main roles;

• Celebrity (role model)
• Confidant (teacher)
• Coach (disciplinarian, cheerleader)

When we look at championship athletes we don’t usually see all the work they put in to get in shape and be able to compete.  We simply see the results without seeing the sweat, pain, injuries, and grit that it takes to win.

As coaches we must treat our children as little human beings because that’s what they are. Communication is the number one tool that we have and the better our communication the better the results. However it is imperative that like a coac...

My dear son Omar  (5 and a half) has always been a little short for his age Alhamdoulilah- and while he is not underweight- his weight corresponds with his height. So he’s tiny all around. However recently he has had a growth spurt and almost overnight he seems taller and even his facial features have been changing. I need to often repeat Allahuma Barek Lahu these days because I think to myself what a handsome young man he is. LOL.

Ok so back to my story. About a week or so ago we went to the park. Omar decided he wanted to do the Monkey bars. He has attempted them before- there are about 7 little bars to get past to make it to the other side. He usually gets past 2 or 3 and falls down. This time however he was determined. Maryam, his younger sister, was starting to get tired and wanted to go home. I mentioned this to Omar but he said, wait mommy one more time. One time easily turned into 6 times or more. I calmly sat down and asked Maryam to be patient- Omar was almost finished.

I w...