The Three C's Roles

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

We have been blessed with many different roles as parents and some roles are unique to our personal situation within our family structure and others are ones that we all share as parents be default.

We think that there are three very important roles that parents have by default and we have labeled them;

The CELEBRITY, The CONFIDANT, and The COACH

We think that you as a parent already have an idea of how these may apply to your life and it is our intention to not just elaborate how important these roles are but how to use them effectively at the right times so that your parenting is OUTSTANDING with the help of Allah.

A quick description of the 3 roles are as follows;

The CELEBRITY - We are the Superstars in our young child's life. When they are newborns, we are all they know and our simple presence gives them comfort. We are the only friends that they want even if there are siblings or other relatives. Mom is usually the main superstar in our child's...

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I'm a COACH

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

“Champions aren’t made in the ring, they are merely recognized there. What you cheat on in the early light of morning will show up in the ring under the bright lights.”

—Joe Frazier

I am a Coach that is developing Champions, given to me for a short time by Allah and I will do what I must to bring out the best in them because the best in them is from the best in me, alhamdulillah.

Many of us have benefited from a coach in one way or the other. Or we have seen great teams that have overcome obstacles to win through it all. There are Olympic games and coaches from all over the world that are able to display to most countries on the planet the results of their training through athletes. Though most of us are not raising Olympic athletes, we are raising something much more signigicant, we are raising believers in Allah.

I jokingly tell parents to be selfish and get good at being selfish! You can imagine the surprise on their faces...

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I'm a CONFIDANT

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

I empower and equip my child with knowledge that they don't understand yet because I am a Confidant.

One who is able and willing to expose the things that may not fit the status quo in hopes to create a deeper understanding in their children is what we consider a Confidant.

We naturally take on the role of the Confidant as we answer the questions by our little ones, especially when they ask us "why?" However this role is not one that stays as passive as simply answering a toddler’s questions. This role is very demanding and requires parents to continue to grow and get wisdom from their life's lessons.

One of the greatest satisfactions of the Confidant is that we get to experience the trust of our children and we see how the information we share with them may affect their thinking and behavior. Once we pull our children into the inner circle, we show them that we care about them, love them, and want them to understand things on a level that many...

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I'm a CELEBRITY

bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem

"I'm a Parent and I'm the first and most important CELEBRITY in my child's life"

I know, I know, some people have let us know that just saying the above statement makes them feel uncomfortable. It's okay, let me explain why I say that you are a celebrity and the most important one in your child's life.

First, we must understand that our children are simply a trust from Allah and they are under our care for a short time. We don't own them and we can't control them, not even before they are born. After the Angel blows their soul into their developing body and they begin to kick and move around inside the womb, Allah shows us how much we lack control. There is nothing a mother can do to not feel the pain of that baby moving and growing inside of her and Allah blesses her immensely.

However after this baby is born, it is Allah that has conditioned that baby to be attached to Mom and instinctively be able to eat. Think of how comfortable we are when our...

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Emotional needs of our children when it comes to "DISCIPLINE"... Part 2

Bismilah Ar Rahmaan Ar Raheem

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

(Read Part 1 here)

It’s imperative for parents to understand that the human brain isn’t considered mature until 25 years old according to new neuroscience findings which can explain some of the things our children decide that make absolutely no sense.

Knowing this I use a Six Step System of Corrective Discipline when it comes to my children;

As parents we have 3 main roles;

  • Celebrity (role model)
  • Confidant (teacher)
  • Coach (disciplinarian, cheerleader)

When we look at championship athletes we don’t usually see all the work they put in to get in shape and be able to compete.  We simply see the results without seeing the sweat, pain, injuries, and grit that it takes to win.

As coaches we must treat our children as little human beings because that’s what they are. Communication is the number one tool that we have and the better our communication the better the results. However it is...

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Umm Omar's Practical Parenting Example

My dear son Omar  (5 and a half) has always been a little short for his age Alhamdoulilah- and while he is not underweight- his weight corresponds with his height. So he’s tiny all around. However recently he has had a growth spurt and almost overnight he seems taller and even his facial features have been changing. I need to often repeat Allahuma Barek Lahu these days because I think to myself what a handsome young man he is. LOL.

Ok so back to my story. About a week or so ago we went to the park. Omar decided he wanted to do the Monkey bars. He has attempted them before- there are about 7 little bars to get past to make it to the other side. He usually gets past 2 or 3 and falls down. This time however he was determined. Maryam, his younger sister, was starting to get tired and wanted to go home. I mentioned this to Omar but he said, wait mommy one more time. One time easily turned into 6 times or more. I calmly sat down and asked Maryam to be patient- Omar was almost...

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Emotional needs of our children when it comes to "DISCIPLINE"... Part 1

Bismilah Ar Rahmaan Ar Raheem

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

When you hear the word discipline what do you think of? Probably being angry at a child, receiving or giving a spanking, or maybe you think of something that is simply rigid? I’d venture to say that like many parents I speak with that your concept of discipline may bring images of something difficult or challenging? Very few people hear the word discipline and have happy or even neutral feelings.

As a parent, it’s very important that we don’t view discipline in a negative narrow sense because we can inadvertently cause our children to turn away from discipline when they need it most. I want you to think of it like this, Islam is full of discipline. As a matter of fact this was one of the things that most intrigued me when I was studying Islam. I saw structure and order which can lead to a fulfilling life where others that study see challenges and rigidity.

Islam is full discipline and we can see it...

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How to engage young children with the Quran

Helping Children build closeness with the Quran

Sadly many Muslims are disconnected with the Quran and simply have it in our homes as decoration. Sometimes it's only taken off the shelves during the blessed month of Ramadan. Maybe we’re intimidated by it or satisfied with any excuse we make up not to seek guidance from it.

Parents have a special task of working to instill interest in the Quran by their children beyond rote memorization. Most people have heard that "an idle mind is the Devil’s playground" and when we hear a child say “I’m bored” it tends to mean that they are usually not exerting themselves.

"What can I do to help my child connect more with the Quran" is a question we get often at Outstanding Muslim Parents. I hope to give you a few ideas that can help spark interest for your children which leads to them taking the initiative to go deeper bi ithnillah.

The Magnificence of the Quran cannot be adequately explained in a short blog post and...

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True Muslim Stories: Abdullah Part 3

For Part 2 click here | For Part 1 click here

A pattern developed of coming home late after school and staying out late with “friends”. Coming home smelling like odd fragrances and showing signs of a romantic relationship were apparent and easy for anyone who has lived that lifestyle to see.

Late one night Abdullah received a phone call or a text from his older brother (from a different mother) who informed him that he was going to be with Abdullah’s girlfriend. Abdullah and his brother had always been at odds because Ismaa’eel chose Aaliyah and became Muslim instead of staying with his mother. This type of disrespectful talk isn’t taken easily amongs young men. It’s bad enough that a man tells another man that I’m going to be intimate (in rated G language) with your woman, but his older brother says this already being fully aware of the relationship Abdullah has with her. It goes without saying that the young woman in this triangle...

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The Muslim Identity

Identity: noun \ī-ˈden-tə-tē, ə-, -ˈde-nə-\ a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual

When we bear witness that there is NOTHING worth of worship except ALLAH and that Muhammad is His Messenger, we are distinguishing ourselves and professing that we believe in One God with no partners and His final Messenger Muhammad bin Abdullah.

One of the pleasures of life for parents is seeing their children imitate the rituals of worship when their sons say Allahu Akbar and wants to lead the salah or when a daughter is putting the khimar around her head and looking for positive reinforcement. When a baby is just 1 yr old and they are imitating the movements of salah is refreshing for a parent without question.

What Muslim parent doesn't want their children to carry on this deen and develop a love for it? I trust that all parents want the best for their children and want them to be a means to enter Jennah.

We are distinct in our worship and sometimes we don't notice how...

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