(For Part 1 click here)
After talking with Ismaa’eel, I noted that his surroundings weren’t what they used to be. He was in a place for over 8 hours a day with non-Muslims and most of his clients were non-Muslims as well. Even though that’s not an issue in general, it can wear you down over time and by missing the congregational prayers and closeness of the local Muslims, his family ended up suffering. Abdullah was growing and he was spending less time with his father in his formative years and unfortunately his family was missing from most Islamic functions at the few maasajid around town.
My oldest daughter is one year younger than Abdullah and we were present at his 8th grade graduation, ma sha Allah. I wasn’t ready for what was next for Abdullah in regards to schooling. Ismaa’eel told me that he had recently begun unschooling his children and that he is going to send his son to a public high school. This concerned me because Abdullah is a popular guy, taller than his father, and he didn’t seem really interested in learning his deen the way his father was when we first met. I reminded Ismaa’eel of how high school was when we were younger with the bustling hormones and not being able to concentrate because of the girls/young women and constant interaction and flirting that goes on in addition to how technology can make that much worse. Ismaa’eel disagreed with me and said his son can handle the pressure because after all he is a Muslim.
Well, as expected Abdullah gained lots of attention from the opposite sex. They liked him because he was handsome and some of the young women told him that they liked him because he wasn’t like the “other” boys, basically meaning that he didn’t chase after girls and pester them for sex or their looks. Abdullah did have some shyness to him because this was not a world he was used to…. at first.
Abdullah was very athletic and took easily to any sport he tried which caused him to become popular very fast. The culture of Homecoming, Prom, and experimenting with his sexuality was all around him and the young women were more experienced than he was which caused some of them to take seducing him as a personal challenge. Abdullah didn’t really know how to handle things but he seemed to like the attention and began to have relationships with these young women that are unbefitting for a Muslim.
According to several studies, the average American loses his or her virginity at age 17. Virgins make up 12.3% of females and 14.3% of males aged 20 to 24. This list is a general population list, however more and more Muslims are a part of this general class and 17 years old in some parts of the US is seen as “old” to lose one’s virginity. I know that amongst both male and female athletes in school, it is usually sooner. Such was the case with Abdullah, he tasted of the fruit that the righteous save for marriage and the vast majority of the people he hung out with were non-Muslims or Muslims who didn’t practice Islam at all, which more likely influenced his decisions and actions greatly. Meanwhile, he went through the motions at home to appease his parents but only prayed when they forced him to.
Abdullah still accompanied his mother and sisters to ‘Eid prayer and when I spoke with him I always inquired where his father was and informed him that it was good to see him. It was hard to see this young man in front of me who is now taller than I being without his father due to his father choosing to run his business and skip out on ‘Eid even though he could’ve easily taken off. It was even more difficult to see the earrings he wore and hearing his speech being reminiscent of how the people I used to hang out with before Islam spoke and I could see how he was moving more and more away from Islam.
My father told me when I was younger that there is a thing that is different about a man one he has lost his virginity and I am unable to adequately describe what that means but you know it when you see it and it hurt me to see it in my close friend’s son…
Stay tuned for part 3
Be historic, be OUTSTANDING!
Remember don't be AVERAGE! Average is nothing but the TOP of the BOTTOM and the BOTTOM of the TOP!
Nazir binNaseeb Al-Mujaahid
Author of Muslims Parenting on Purpose Vol. 1
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