Zayd didnât say it angrily.
Thatâs what scared Hassan.
They were walking out of the grocery store when Zayd pointed at a poster. Music. Bright colors. A smiling face.
âThat looks fun,â Zayd said.
Then, casually:
âWhy canât we do stuff like that?â
Hassan smiled automatically.
But inside, something dropped.
Because Zayd wasnât asking for permission.
He was measuring.
And Hassan suddenly understood the danger.
The world wasnât attacking his son.
It was recruiting him.
Modern parents think danger comes loudly.
It doesnât.
It comes softly.
Repeatedly.
With better marketing.
Your child is surrounded by:
All of them answering one question for your child:
âWho should I be?â
If you donât answer that question clearly, the dunya will.
Between ages 3 and 10, you are not competing on logic.
You are competing on influence.
This is where the first C matt...
Omar was tying his shoes when the question came.
âBaba⌠why donât we do what they do?â
His father, Kareem, froze.
They were late. Again.
School pickup traffic. A work call waiting. His phone buzzing in his pocket.
âWhat do you mean?â Kareem asked, distracted.
Omar shrugged. âMy friends donât pray. They say itâs old. Why do we?â
That was the moment.
Not because the question was hard.
But because Kareem realized something terrifying.
This wasnât a rebellion.
It was a seed.
And seeds grow. Whether you plant them or not.
Children are not blank slates.
They are soil.
And soil is always receiving seeds.
From school.
From screens.
From friends.
From culture.
If you are not intentionally planting, something else already is.
Thatâs not fear-mongering.
Thatâs reality.
Between ages 3 and 10, your child does not form belie...
Fatima noticed it on a Tuesday.
It wasnât loud.
It wasnât dramatic.
It was quiet.
Maryam, her eight-year-old daughter, used to remind her about salah.
âMama, is it time yet?â
âCan I put the mat next to yours?â
That Tuesday, Maghrib came and went.
Fatima glanced at the clock.
Then at Maryam.
Nothing.
Maryam was on the couch, legs tucked under her, scrolling through a childrenâs app. Her face was calm. Content. Unbothered.
Fatima felt a tightening in her chest.
She cleared her throat.
âMaryam⌠did you forget something?â
Maryam looked up. Blank.
âOh. Do we have to do it now?â
Not rebellion.
Not defiance.
Disinterest.
And thatâs when Fatima realized something terrifying.
Her daughter hadnât stopped praying.
She had stopped caring.
Most parents panic at this point.
They clamp down.
And sometimes it works.
Short term.
But what...
Adam didnât hear the heartbreak happen. He was too busy typing.
He was sitting at the kitchen table, the "command center" of modern parenting: laptop open, phone buzzing, mind halfway between a stressful email and the dinner dishes clinking in the sink.
Yusuf, his seven-year-old son, stood in the doorway. He was holding a crumpled worksheet. His eyes were bright, waiting for the "Celebrity" of his world to turn around.
"Baba," Yusuf said, stepping closer. "I got something today."
Adam didnât turn. He nodded at his screen. "Put it on the table, buddy."
Yusuf hesitated. The brightness in his eyes flickered. "Itâs about school."
"Yeah, yeah. Iâll look in a minute."
Yusuf walked over. He placed the paper neatly next to the laptop. He waited.
Thirty seconds.
Then a minute.
Adam kept typing.
Eventually, Yusuf picked the paper back up. He folded it carefullyâthe way children do when they are trying to protect themselves from the pain of being invisibleâand walked quietly to his roo...
December 25th is the biggest holiday in the West for non-Muslims. It is a consumerism frenzy and shirk at its greatest and unfortunately many Muslim parents don't know how to use Christmas to their advantage! What? Did I just say to their advantage?
Let me explain, during this time of the year, non-Muslim parents go out of their way to violate numerous moral principles and they usually do it against the ones that are defenseless, helpless, and trusting... yes, their own children.
Most non-Muslim parents that are Christian have forgotten how hurt, shocked, and betrayed they felt when they found out that Santa Claus wasn't real! As a former Christian, I was deeply hurt and couldn't believe how my father and mother lied to me for all those years with no apology. I felt betrayed and that was emotional pain that just multiplied when it came to the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and other 'childhood tales'.
Those who celebrate Christmas and push the consumerism, materialism and debauchery tha...
When I began my search for the truth, I was a 16 year old who attended Christian school my entire life but I had my doubts. As I began to study the Bible more, I noticed how pagan holidays were simply replaced or absorbed by the Church in order to increase its following. I knew that whatever my search led me to, it had to be free of these things and stand on its own.
Studying the life of Malcolm X, I ended up sifting through elements like the Nation of Islam (Min. Farrakhan and/or Elijah Muhammad) until I finally came upon information about the Life of Prophet Muhammad (sws). I began to study more and more and after reading Surah Ikhlas, I accepted Islam. Upon my acceptance, I decided to start fresh so I threw every holiday I ever participated in, religious, secular or otherwise in the trash. I decided to do my best to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sws).
I began to explore the principles of Islam and saw many of them as ...
Establishing family traditions starting with an easy one
There is something special about a family that works and acts as a team. Each individual is part of a unit and contributes and benefits from the whole. It warms my heart to see people that work together as a cohesive unit who were basically chosen by Allah to be family.
When I was growing up as the eldest of six children, both my mother and father were present up until I was about 12 years old. Of course the dynamic was different as I was raised as a Christian albeit my family wasnât that religious, however they did enroll me in a Christian parochial school where I studied and really learned the Bible well, which eventually led me to Islam after studying what Jesus (âIsa [as]) allegedly preached. However thatâs not the reason for todayâs post, I want to talk about building culture within your family.
Cultures arenât only specific to places like countries, cities, states, religions or universities. Cultures and subcultures and ...
I just wanted to share a short video with you that some Muslim youth made about saying âI Love Youâ to their parents and I think you should see the reactions and the emotions from both the parents and the children.
Just take a few minutes to watch it because it will drive home the importance of those three words and the effect is has on our childrenâs hearts (and ours too).
After you watch the video, let your child(ren) know how much you love them and make a special dua for them. Our courses and trainings are about building love and influence based on Islam and nothing will work until you as a parent touch the heart of your child in sha Allah.
Talk soon and I pray Allah makes your children a coolness for your eyes and means for you to enter the highest ranks of jannah, ameen.
Your brother and fellow parent,
Nazir binNaseeb
Author of Muslims Parenting on Purpose Vol. 1
If you want more info on our high level Parenting courses or join our email list for our FREE video series, get de...
bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,
(If you have not read Part One, click here)
In Stage Three (Teenagers) is when we begin to reap the harvest of our action or inaction. During the early teen years as our childrenâs bodies develop and they go through puberty is when there tends to be a lot of emotional uncertainty due to hormonal changes as they transition through the process. We must be that much more strategic in our praise by reminding them of successes theyâve had and lessons theyâve learned from things they may have failed at. In the Coach role, we build them up and continue to support them on their road to independence.
One thing we must do as Muslims is to infuse the lessons we have learned from the Seerah of the Prophet (sws) and from the Quran. If we only focused on our childrenâs psychology without infusing our Islamic beliefs then we are doing our children a disservice. Reminding our children of the jealousy of siblings we can share the story...
Bismilah Ar Rahmaan Ar Raheem
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,
How would you answer the question, who are you? Some people say Iâm a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher while some say Iâm an Arab, Desi, American, a housewife, Iâm only a mother, or any number of things. How people describe themselves many times is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and in the case of our children, we want them to radiate high self esteem and feel incredible about who they are!
The challenge is how to help craft an identity and strong personality in our children which isnât as difficult as it sounds if you start early. I think you should become a farmer. No not the kind that toils in a field which is essential to healthy eating but one that toils something more precious because the soil is more valuable. I want you to till your childrenâs brains and how they view themselves.
As parents we see how verbal abuse can damage a personâs perception of themselves and how bullying damages a personâs sel...