Allah t’ala says in Surah Tahreem 66:6
O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. Quran 66:6
Many times, as Muslims, our priorities are not in the proper order. We strive to take care of our families financially, which is commendable, we strive for higher education, which is commendable, and we strive for knowledge and recreation, which can also be commendable. But is it commendable if it is at the risk of losing your children to the pull of Shaytaan? Would you trade your child for the luxuries of this life? Would you trade your children for status and a degree? I highly doubt parents intend to disempower their children, but many of the problems plaguing our Islamic communities show the same end result.
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: A continuous charity, knowledge by which people derive benefit and a pious son who prays for him.” Sahih Muslim
When I accepted Islam as a teenager, I was the oldest of 6 children that spent most of my schooling years in private Christian schools. I saw the challenges of private schooling up close while many parents thought these schools were the answer. I saw the drugs, sex, and weapons firsthand despite the illusion of being respectable schools. Sadly many of the exact same elements occur in today’s Muslim schools with parents equally unsuspecting. I promised myself that when I have children, they won’t be shuffled through the same thing I was despite my parents having the best intentions.
After taking the road of entrepreneurship and learning leadership principles, team building, developing codes of honor, and building systems I was able to build a successful business and chose to leave my traditional job when my children were still very young. I figured it’s more important that I be near my family and lead them from the front than to provide for them financially while sacrificing time with them.
It hit me like a ton of bricks when a close friend’s son left Islam completely. His son was only about a year older than my daughter and he and his wife were the first Muslim couple we met after we had accepted Islam. I can’t say it was a surprise that his son would choose the route of kufr based on the steps he was taking and his father disregarding my advice and instead choosing to be optimistic instead of facing the harsh reality of what was going on. It hurt my family and I equally as bad, but the warning signs were in place when another friend’s teenage daughter chose to abandon Islam and instead follow her non-Muslim father’s way of life, who was divorced from her mother.
After hearing about these stories of close friend’s children I was devastated. People had seen my children and know that they are grounded, well behaved, and have a distinct Muslim personality and it seemed that I'd get asked what we were doing different than other parents.
I never knew it would lead to us sharing some parenting and leadership techniques and traditions that we put in place as a family. After sharing so much and seeing it work, we were asked to do some speaking and put something together to share with others. Hence, OutstandingMuslimParents.com was born.
We are honored to share with other parents the best practices of parenting. We wanted to address today’s issues in a practical manner when it comes to schooling vs education, media programming, strong Islamic personalities, brain neuroscience and its relation to behavior and psychology. It's imperative that parents are equipped and understand how knowing and using all of these things can make your parenting more effective.
We don’t want to hear another parent say that they will focus on their younger children and try to protect them from their older rebellious sibling. We’ve developed some effective disciplinary techniques that parents simpy don’t know and it is amazing the success stories we hear after they learn some of these principles and strategies.
Parenting 11 children which includes 2 stepchildren allows us to share from multiple perspectives and several family dynamics while we understand Western culture because we left it to accept Islam and find it shameful that many children are heading straight towards the same jahiliyyah that we were running from…
Don't be AVERAGE, that is simply the TOP of the BOTTOM and the BOTTOM of the TOP!
Remember a WISH changes NOTHING but a DECISION changes EVERYTHING!
Nazir binNaseeb Al-Mujaahid
Author and Parenting Coach
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