bismillah arRahmaan arRaheem
We have been blessed with many different roles as parents and some roles are unique to our personal situation within our family structure and others are ones that we all share as parents be default.
We think that there are three very important roles that parents have by default and we have labeled them;
The CELEBRITY, The CONFIDANT, and The COACH
We think that you as a parent already have an idea of how these may apply to your life and it is our intention to not just elaborate how important these roles are but how to use them effectively at the right times so that your parenting is OUTSTANDING with the help of Allah.
A quick description of the 3 roles are as follows;
The CELEBRITY - We are the Superstars in our young child's life. When they are newborns, we are all they know and our simple presence gives them comfort. We are the only friends that they want even if there are siblings or other relatives. Mom is usually the main superstar in our child's universe because that is the way Allah designed it. She has all the tools for feeding, love, and that little one has been physically connected to her for their entire life. Dad is usually secondary but a star nevertheless.
This reminds us of the hadith in Bukhari & Muslim that states: A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father.
The term Celebrity may be a new way to look at things and we think describes more accurately the roles we play as parents but you can compare this role as being similar to the Role Model and Mentor.
The CONFIDANT - Traditionally a confidant is a trusted person that secrets or private matters are confided to. The great thing is that we can confide in our children and they can do the same with us. However, our role as confidant utilizes a deeper meaning where we as parents, explain things that may not be easily seen or understood by the masses.
Since we have the message of Islam, there are things that we know that many others don't. We are given some knowledge of the unseen from Allah and His Messenger. We know how cunning and convincing the Shaytan can be so we must use this knowledge to expose our children to the realities around them that may seem good but are really tricks that are calling to kufr. For example: Non-Muslim holidays and how they have been handed down generation to generation usually in the name of it being 'for the children'. May Allah protect us from that! Ameen
If they are told to follow what Allah has revealed, they say: ‘No, we will continue to follow what we found our foreparents doing!’ Even though their foreparents did not comprehend anything nor were they rightly guided.” Quran 2:170
The COACH - Many of us have an idea of a coach when we hear that title. Maybe you picture a gym with a person blowing a whistle while running a practice? Maybe you picture a sports coach or the Olympics coaches that have helped develop incredible athletes? Or possibly a voice coach or dance coach?
Whatever your view of coach is, we're sure you have an idea of the job of a coach. The great thing is that we have the Coach role as a parent and this is one of the most challenging roles of all. When we look at coaches, we notice that many times they may not be as talented or in the best physical shape as the person they are coaching is, however that person still listens to their coach if they want to be better. The thing is that coaches can see what their athletes/players/students are unable to see. Coaches can see the bigger picture, they know what it takes to achieve a goal, they understand the importance of practice, and they know how to get the best out of their players by tapping into their motivation.
All of this and more is your job as a parent. Being a cheerleader, a disciplinarian, and celebrating the wins with your children.
Though we wear so many different hats as parents, we think you will agree that we all share these three roles and we can always strive to be better. So it is our goal to empower and equip you on your parenting journey with the tools necessary to continue on the road to OUTSTANDING!!!
Remember a WISH changes NOTHING but a DECISION changes EVERYTHING!
Nazir binNaseeb Al-Mujaahid
Author and Parenting Coach
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