My dear son Omar (5 and a half) has always been a little short for his age Alhamdoulilah- and while he is not underweight- his weight corresponds with his height. So he’s tiny all around. However recently he has had a growth spurt and almost overnight he seems taller and even his facial features have been changing. I need to often repeat Allahuma Barek Lahu these days because I think to myself what a handsome young man he is. LOL.
Ok so back to my story. About a week or so ago we went to the park. Omar decided he wanted to do the Monkey bars. He has attempted them before- there are about 7 little bars to get past to make it to the other side. He usually gets past 2 or 3 and falls down. This time however he was determined. Maryam, his younger sister, was starting to get tired and wanted to go home. I mentioned this to Omar but he said, wait mommy one more time. One time easily turned into 6 times or more. I calmly sat down and asked Maryam to be patient- Omar was almost finished.
I watched in awe at how determined he was. He kept falling and getting back up and stated the whole process again. I reminded him to say Bismillah and off he went. I kept on saying how proud is was of him whether he crossed one bar, two or three. Finally he made it, all the way to the end!!!
You must picture this, …These little thin arms holding on, little legs dangling- the grunts of effort and me just staring in utter amazement at this strength and determination that my little 5 year old had in him. When he finally made it I told him I was so proud of him. That I was proud when he did two and three bars and I was proud that he completed them all. He replied “you were a little proud when I did two bars but you are TOO proud that I finished them”. To this I replied- “no, I was too proud when you did 2 and 3 bars and I am so proud that you made it to the end. But I am mostly proud because you did not stop trying!! That makes me proud!”. At this he beamed with confidence and I was close to tears (as usual LOL).
There are times when we think..I should have said this or that to my child, or we try to find the perfect words to build confidence in them. Allah granted me a beautiful opportunity that day and I felt that I reacted in a positive way that was good for my son. He felt great and I was happy that I took the time to wait until he completed his goal…..
May Allah make our dear sister and mother Umm Omar (who shared this story) a shining example and cause her children to be a coolness for her eyes and for her husband’s, ameen.
Author of Muslims Parenting on Purpose Vol. 1
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